Friday, July 03, 2009

Moo?

umm..plausible?
maybeee...

and if you're wondering..kaise banaya..
amazing tool called http://bubble.us/

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A biologists love...

A biologists love

Teaching few 10th class students, some biology of the cell(which I myself, mugged up only a few days before the exams),a very distant and weird thought hit me. Why is it that all cells perform their duty?

There seem to me,2 answers for it...a utilitarian one and another one which is on a higher plane(no..not (1,1,0)).

Doesn't it seem weird to you, how each cell endless and diligently performs it duties without fail? How cells remain in harmony, and yet help each other out in carrying out there own duties?

On a hilarious note, how would the thinking process of a cell work?
"Hi!yay!!great...i have been born out of one cell,say,by mitosis..

wohoo!i didn't know it by i have another brother of mine just round the corner..

oooh.not only one brother, but millions of them. and hey!they all look alike..

yaar,life mein kuch fun bhi hona chahiye..chalo..cancer kare!

*now the dilemma of life begins*
am i special? was i born to do a special task, since everyone of my so called busy-in-their-own-task brothers are doing the same task that i am doing..still thinking..

dameet,its time to die...

tada!"

How is it that they all do their work so efficiently to make the body run so perfectly in sync?
And maybe they all get tired of our thanklessness towards them, that they start misbehaving towards the end of life…or as we age?

One of the solution towards this dilemma is...

They do it just utalitarianly..

All the desire is only their own survival, own growth, own promotion(if there is any,in the cellular world),and their own propagation.

They are selfish, mindless freaks, who are rigid, move only as per their DNA commandments, to attain a successful cellular life.

In short, much like towards world, they do everything just for their own utility..for their own benefit..not thinking, for any communal/community cellular benefit.

Another point of view, would be to assume them to be carefree,yet caring,social beings,who are performing their duties out of love for the body, for the love of the well being of life and its sustenance.

They are true saints, selfless, being born and dying every second for our well being,our life..

Maybe they don't know it, that they do so for a common good, maybe they're just doing what they think is right, but still unknowingly, they are doing this out of love.

And,as concerns with me, I think this is theory I support.. out of love, shall all beings be born!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Artificial Brains??

One fine day, inhabiting the portals of the library, a discussion begins, soon, passionate arguments are thrown around and very soon, it explodes into a conflict of ideas, and the resulting chaos threw me out of the library! (Well, yeah! The discussion was being the cause of anguish to the typically retentive, repetitive medical student who has his/her plans chalked out :P)

So, this discussion was about Artificial Intelligence, or to be more specific, why and how natural intelligence differs from artificial intelligence....?
Anyways, so, if you have reached this part of the blog-post, lets continue further....let us assume modelling a human brain, in all its complexity , is possible....then, let us try to answer some questions:

Q.1: What does the brain do?

Well, even today, after years of research, no body, can with certainty, clearly define and designate the brain’s functions.
The rationale behind designing an artificial heart/ leg/lung is that they have a explicitly clear and understandable function(s), that can be reduced to a simple mechanical bottomline for eg: the heart pumps blood, the leg is responsible for locomotion, and the lung facilitates gas exchange.
Conclusion:
We are unable to, in gross terms, understand what consciousness is, let alone model it!!!

Q.2 :Are you the same person, today, that you were yesterday, and will you be the same person tomorrow that you are today?

Well, if you say, Yes-well, then, I’d say, No....Every Second is a learning experience for the brain- its internal circuitry being continuously changed by charging and updating!
But, even a computer can learn, right? But, again, would it be wrong to state that the scale of dynamism is very different? A computer, will learn and modify itself, only when, it has been “taught” to “learn” by predetermined rules (software)!

The brain, however, or rather, the biological neurons, don’t just change the strength of their connections, they grow new connections, and let old ones atrophy i.e. they change their physical shape => Hardware is indisguishable from software!



Roger Penrose and Deep Thought
The famous mathematician, Roger Penrose, in his inimitatable style, brought into focus, why the human consciousness cannot be modelled by a conventional Turing machine.
Computers function by means of algorithms :
Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 3:
.............
............
However, the human brain does not work in this number crunching mechanical way!
Penrose pointed to the example of the chess computer, Deep Thought, which was confronted with a chess problem, in which it had only pawns left, apart from the king. The pawns were positioned in an impenetratable way, and all that a human player had to do to avoid defeat was to position the king behind the pawns. The mechanical way that Deep Thought was programmed, it took the rook, and thereby, lost the game.
Moral of the story: True, the game couldn’t be saved even by a seasoned chess player, but what Penrose tried to project through this example was that humans use more than just a fixed set of rules that are implicit in the problem to be solved.

Maybe, thats what Niels Bohr meant when when he admonished a student- “You are not thinking, you are just being logical!
The whole Brain, thus, can be thought of as a mechanism for reducing risk, by making more accurate predictions about the likely result of any particular course of action, on the basis of past experience and memories. And it is our consciousness that helps us select and edit what gets into our memories!

In sense, then, we can now, say, that we are our memories- accumulated, nurtured and pruned over a lifetime- this wonderful mechanism, offers us, some degree of freedom from neural determinism, and probably, and probably, makes us the unique person that we are!
Then, why did the Hypothesis that “we” are nothing but complicated machines arise? It is, to a large extent true, with respect to our bodies, because, regarding bodies as machines, has definitely enabled several breakthroughs in biology and medicine.
And, it wouldn’t be wrong to conclusively say, that it is only of limited validity, with respect to our minds.
Maybe, it was a similar hope, that considering minds as mechanisms can help us, one day, discover, what makes the unpromising, gooey, creamy mass floating in a liquid aka the brain “tick”?
And only when we are explicitly able to pin down how the brain makes chaos in order to make sense of the world, can we truly understand ourselves, our worlds, our worlds of sensation, thought, feelings and emotions....

P.S: If this post appears ambiguous, then, I would choose to explain by quoting Jung - “I prefer ambiguous language, since, it does equal justice to the subjectivity of the archetypal idea and to the autonomy of the archetype!”

Afterthought:
It definitely is a tough task to model the human brain, in all its splendour. However, if we, now introduce a generic term “neural nets” in this discussion, which, arguably is the closest we have got to modelling the brain in silicon, it is indeed possible to model the essential functions of the brain. As they say, it really isn’t necessary to build replicas of bird’s feathers in order to fly!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Carnaame!

College ke kaarnaame:

A few things happened in the college,or let me say,with some college people and though i hate to put it like this,I was the central joker in all.

Both of them,happened the same day,and lemme put them chronologically yet diplomatically:

1.I was coming back from Lakshmi nagar,after meeting a friend and was walking back from the bus stop to my place.As usually happens with people of my age,both of their eyes always fixed into their mobile phones.

I walked past a lady,and then..after a few(10) steps i realize..wasn't this esha's mum?

I turn around immediately,saying loudly,Namaste aunty(no..no..don't take me like that,i was in a good mood that day,that's why i took so much of pain).

She is bewildered..amazed at the loudness and the distance after which is spoke..and then says..namaste namaste..maine pehchaana ni.

By this time,I had a good look at her,and realize that she does ook like her mother,but then there's some change.

Chalo baal katwaa liye honge i think.Then i give her another look,a grim one this time..and she says,maybe terrified of my face and the absurdity of the situation..haan haan,ab pehchaan liya.

I was still away from my place,so walking back,i again started what my generation is best at.I typed a message:"chee esha,teri mummy ko maine namaste bol ke darrrra diya!".

Happily,I entered my house,thinking what a scene would it be when she asks her mum about this incident.

She replies:"ah...kab?kahan par?".I reply,"koi ni..kal bataunga".

And then,I start off with the paper,thinking what fun it would be to narrate this story to other people.

And suddenly,it occurs to me..both of her parents are out of town for the last one week!

2.Ye waala aur bhi mast tha!

I was to talk to my friends mum and convince her to send her(my frnd) to the college trip.

One of my "dangar" frnd gave me her mum's number,saying hat if he talks,her mum would even stop sending her to the college.SO fine,i say,i'll talk.

I call up one day,(no not so easily..just after much delibration and convincing and rehearsals myself),and ask on the phone for Mrs Day.

Her father picks up the phone,says she's not around and then,maybe because he was busy,cuts the phone without asking any further question about my identity or reason for calling..thankfully(for we are not so much acquainted with him,than her mum).

A few days later,again making up my mind(i had to think upon this and medidate for this.for 3 hrs..nah..kidding),i call on the same number again.Her dad agains picks up the phone.

I ask for Mrs Day,he says,she's not around..And this time...I was not so thankful.He asks,whom am i talking to,for what reason do you want to talk to her.

My mind slams up its breaks and all making up of mind seems only a touch up..I reply in hesitation..hi this is sameer...do you want insuance??

The gentleman replies...no not right now.Thank you.
phew..close shave...

Then we decide to call my frnd up and ask her to pass the phone to her mum.Sure shot,method this time.

imagine what would have happened if she would have said..mum to nahi hai..le papa se baat kar.

His dad replies:haan beta batao,kya bat hai..
me...ah..uncle...insurance??

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Divine love!

ahem...ye kissi ke liye likhi thi...
mat poochna!!

her kohl underlined eyes,
as fresh as the mist,
from a morning flower,
elude and draw me,
into infinite ecstasy,
leave behind an afterglow
and a sweet scent
those mystic eyes,
leave me in a trance

I could but only
watch them with awe,
lost in their splendor
afraid,
to touch,
to see away,
lest they vanish,
in their mystic world

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Moongphali mein daana nahi....

ok so a few jokes..roaming in my mind...jo acche waale hain..

1.we recently gave out an ad in the newspaper for renting out the ground floor.

Aisa nahi hai ki humne puraane kiraye daar ko bahut pareshaan kiya ho,ya uske ghar pe na

hote hue,uska fridge khola ho,ya fridge khol kar uski Us se laayee gayi,Lindt choclate

khayee ho,ya uska kuch samaan gaayab kiya ho...bas woh aise hi chchod kar jaa raha hai...

So we get calls from morning till evening..and guess what...every call we ask:
"aap party hain ya broker?"
(khosla ka ghosla..joke??)
2.I was stading at andrews ganj bus stop.trynig to act lazy by not walking to Ansal

plaza,while it is just a few metres away and trying to find a way via bus to that place.
pehle bande se poocha...

bhaiya..ye ansals ke liye?
he says...catch a bus numbered 413..
fine..thanku bhaiya.aur koi?
aur hain to sahi..par pata nahi.
ok..thanku bhaiya..

saamne ek aunty khadi ho kar moongphali khayee jaa ri thi..mennu chadi khundak...issliye ni

ki woh mujhse pooch ni rahi thi..isliye kyunki..ahem..woh chilke neeche pahen rahi thi..chee

aunty..

me goes upto that aunty..
Aunty..ye ansal plaza ke liye kaise jaaye?
aunty:beta..ye kahan par hai?

me:aunty bas mud kar hi hai..ye yahan se left turn..
aunty:to beta paidal chale jao..

me:aunty phir bhi...matlab joo bhi bas left mudegi...sab jaayengi..
aunty:haan...hmm...*cracks moongphali*...*eats it*...hmmm..*chews it*..hmm...accha..413

number bas..
me:ok aunty.thanku.
moongphali acchi hai?
aunty:*bewildered**still cracking moongphali with teeth*...hmm..acchi hai..
me:aap chilke neeche ni phainko gi to aur acchi lagegi!!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

how to black mail your teachers....

Now this is really true...this is what we did plan to do when we were sick of waiting for hours(half hour) for our turn in the biotechnology experiment.

There's an apparatus called the laminar flow,just to keep the air inside it sterile.Since we have 3 such things in our college(which is still great,comparing to other colleges),we still have to wait while our turn comes up to use it.

So,the way we devised was very simple.a few phone calls,a few sim cards and peace of mind.

Step 1.
look for your teachers keys lying on the table around the lab.

Step 2.steal it.

now comes the fun part..
call up your teacher from the cold room(every biotech lab has one,in order to keep things which we have already spoit,unspoiled).Say to her in a heavy voice..

"aapka chaabi ka guccha humaare pass hai.agar gucche ki salaamati chahte ho,to chup chap group 4 ko sabse pehle experiment karne do."

teacher will reply:tumhe jo chahiye wo le lo,bas mere challe ko kuch mat karna.

you:jyaada hoshaari dikhaane ki koshish ki to tumhaari challe ke tukde tukde kar ke washing room me chupa denge.agali awaaz tumhaare challe ki hogi...

place the key ring in front of the handset and shake it..

teacher:nahiiii....

you:hmm...agali baar phone karke batayenge ki challa kahan aur kab milega.


move out of the cold room,see her reaction,see how many people are left to do the experiment.you suddenly see her talking to the lab assistant.

you call up again:hmm...tumhe kahan nahi tha jyaada hoshiyaari karne ki koshish ki to..
ab tumhaare challe se tumhaari gaadi ki chabi..

remove the key marked "maruti" from the challa.

teacher:nahiii...mere gaadi ki chaabi nahi!

you:to kyun ki itni hoshiyaari?chup chap experiment ka samaan le kar,cold storage mein aa jao.Aur is baar kissi lab assistant ya HOD ko iktila kari to...

teacher:haan haan theek hai..

By the time,she comes to the cold storage,you leave the chaabi ka challa there,move to the laminar flow,do your experiment(by this time,everyone would have done theirs,and youd've had your fun),
ask some doubts to the lab assistant(to appear innocent and completely interested),and then while your teacher is inside the cold room,lock her from outside!!

easy na!

courtesy:fankee(ankit) and words by sameer..